I've noticed something interesting.And it's rather beautiful, actually.
By the grace of God, when He helps me to resist the temptation to lust after a man (wishing for his attention or his touch, for example), men--in general--seem to be more drawn to me.
This leads me to wonder: Could I possibly be more outwardly beautiful when I have a more beautiful heart beating within me?
My dear friend Anne seems to be an example of this. She was beautiful before, but ever since she started her mission of founding the John Paul II Center for Women's Health 2 years ago, she truly does look physically radiant. She and I actually talked at length about how her outward transformation makes absolutely no sense (outside of the consideration of the spirit) because she did nothing physical to warrant it.
So, conversely, I ask: When my heart is blackened with sinful thoughts, am I generally less attractive?
These are spiritual realities which are not visible to the eye but which might be unconsciously visible through the lens of the perceptive human heart.
In other words, perhaps a man will turn away from me with an incomplete understanding of why he wants to, the spiritual reality being that his person cannot be drawn to she whose heart is plugged up with sin.
I have been meditating lately on whether or not my divinely-assisted attempts to regard men for their personhood and not their looks is like performing a beauty regimen on myself.
Indeed, I believe that attraction is not just physical. I believe all of us can--if we strive for it--glimpse the interior beauty of a person.
The interior composition of a good man's heart is what I am most eager to know, and--with God's assistance--I will attract him by the composition of my own.
