Friday, September 26, 2008

Not So Pure & Innocent Any Longer

Oh my gosh!

My doves just had SEX!

This date shall be forever remembered: Friday, September 26, 2008 at 5:37 PM...the day that Pure & Innocent lost their purity and innocence!

Hahaha. Just kidding. Doves mate for LIFE and mine have already been blessed by a priest, so I'm sure their union was still a chaste one.

Here's how it happened:

I unsuspectingly went to the cupboard to snack on some Apple Jacks. As I turned around with a mouthful, my jaw began to drop as I saw Pure & Innocent silently necking (as they have done before), which soon turned into French kissing (which surprisingly is not just a human thing), and before long, Pure (who I had previously tagged as the girl) jumped onto Innocent's back (obviously now NOT the boy), who gently spread her wings, steadied her grip on the perch, and waited patiently as Pure positioned himself correctly.

With first-time awkwardness, Pure fell off of Innocent's back by mistake, but he persisted. A few more French kisses from her and he was again on her back; and, this time, he quickly and deftly put the baby batter in the oven.

Both doves cooed happily when it was over, and then they continued to kiss, neck, and cuddle for a time thereafter. Finally, they puffed into happy little balls of nap-ready fluff.

At least now I no longer need to feel sorry that the female in this avian relationship would be self-conscious about the larger size of her feet. Indeed, the larger feet do belong to the boy!

Clearly my avian sensibilities flew out the window (no pun intended!) when I dismissed my head-knowledge of the darker-colored beak belonging to the male (inappropriately thinking that maybe the rule applied to ducks was opposite for doves). This also explains why Innocent has had an easier time taking a bath in my tub (splashing around and playing carefreely) while Pure would stand beside her in the water, with (now I realize) a combined sense of protection and perhaps preoccupation with watching her!

While most people would surmise that by now I should be worried about nesting materials, the arrival of eggs, and the inevitable quandary of what to do with the little babies (of which my research assures me there will be two), instead my thoughts are focused on whether or not I should do a Renaming Ceremony.

You see, Pure just sounds like a girl's name, and Innocent has already been a boy's name, if you look at the history of popes in the Catholic Church. Furthermore, if you study the doves closely, Innocent is actually more pure white than Pure is. The male is ever-so-slightly an "eggshell" white, whereas the girl is decidedly like pristine snow. So "Pure" would be a fitting name for the whitest dove.

At the same time, I do not want to cause the birds confusion or re-tag all of my Facebook photos of them.

So help me, dear reader! Should I keep the names and just reassign the genders to those names? Or should I have a Renaming Ceremony where each bird takes on the other's name?!?!?! I cannot decide! And, if I were to do a Renaming Ceremony, what would be the procedure? Who should be in attendance? What legal documentation would be needed? Oh, the worries!!

Tomorrow I'm sure I'll start to freak out about the fact that there's probably a bun (or two) in the oven and that I will need to begin interviews with potential adoptive human guardians!