Wednesday, December 09, 2009

Stuck in the Snowy Mud Pit of My Backyard!

You would think that a girl who has a garage wouldn't have to worry about her car being affected by the elements.

The whole reason why I put my car into the garage last night was purposely to avoid the impending snow and freezing rain.

And so this morning, I smiled on the short walk to my garage, knowing I would find a perfectly dry, ready-to-go vehicle. And indeed my little black Jetta was just that. Hooray.

But Mother Nature was eager to get her hands on my car, I think, for she had covered the other cars in my neighborhood with snow but still hadn't had any effect on mine.

And she's so used to getting her way with my vehicle, because--ever since I got a car--she likes to frost it in the winters and cook it in the summer. And, when the weather is moderate, she manages to drop things onto it, just to remind me that she's there. I'll get leaves and branches in the Fall and tree sap and bird doo in the Spring.

Given that I have this garage now and such a short commute to work, you would think that she wouldn't have much time to get her hands on it any longer. But indeed, she POUNCED on my car as soon as I brought it out of the garage this morning.

Navigating out of my garage isn't very easy for a girl who can't parallel park. The exit is narrow and the curve in the small driveway is tight, meaning that I must ever-so-slightly let one tire wheel go off the driveway. This allows me just a bit more room in which to work.

But today, because of the freezing rain, slush, and snow, more of my tire went off the driveway than I expected -- and I couldn't get it back on. In an effort to do so, I let BOTH of my back tires go off the driveway, figuring it would give me more leverage to get back on.

When this didn't work, I somehow managed to get the whole car off the driveway completely and began to drive around like a lunatic in my flower bed. My statue of Mary was looking quite confused -- and fearful. I think I even saw her move away a bit!

To make a long story short, I drove all over the grass in my backyard, sliding my car around as I made various attempts to make it back onto the driveway. As my wheels spun, the cold mud splattered -- and, before long, I had created a veritable mud pit.

My neighbor next door had already left for work, and my other neighbors were away at their cabin. For a brief moment, I considered getting out of my car and waving my arms at passers-by, in the hopes that some muscular man might have the time to stop and push my car out onto the road for me.

I even imagined how classic it would be to lift my skirt slightly and show one of my cable knit tights-covered legs in attempt to catch someone's (anyone's!!) attention. But, of course, yellow school buses with my students were roaring by, and so there was no way I could do that.

Finally, I called the school secretary.

I explained how my vehicle and I were swimming around in a giant mud puddle in my backyard, and could she please send someone out to pick me up? How embarrassed I felt!

In the meantime, I grabbed my umbrella and began walking in the freezing rain.

Eventually, my colleague Jess spotted me, having been dispatched by the principal as my rescue squad. I felt sooooo relieved, and somehow we managed to make it into the school before the kids even entered. Incredible!

Let's hope I can somehow figure out a way to get my car out of my muddy backyard tonight!