At first, I thought I was disappointed to be growing older. Initially, I thought I longed for years past. Wouldn't I rather be 23?
But then, perhaps as a gift from the Holy Spirit, I realized that 32 is precisely the age I want to be right now. Frankly, I'm in the mood for it. I am living an age which is exactly where I want to be. Praise God!
How do I know? Here's how I know...
I don't want to be an adolescent again. Those years were awkward and socially stressful. To me at the time, there was no world outside of the middle school I was in. It was everything, and everything mattered. And, boy, that was not fun.
I don't want to be teenager again. Those years were fun, but I'd rather have this than that. Being a teenager meant having very little money and having less autonomy. It also meant not not knowing as much about my faith, which is understandable but certainly less desirable. I longed for my husband but was nearly two decades away from meeting him, so all I could do was crush on rock stars and focus on music and clothes.
My twenties were fun, filled with freedom and the finances to back up what I felt like doing. But again, I'd rather have this than that! My twenties were full of heartbreak and having to pick myself up by the boot straps and start over...again and again and again. I do not long to repeat it!
So here I am in my 30s. And I like it here.
I like the respect I get when I'm in the checkout line at the grocery store. I value and realize how much I needed my Heavenly Father to have brought me down to my knees but then raised me up again. And I like the fact that this life isn't about me anymore and is more about what I can do for my future husband, our families, our church, and others.
So, as I celebrate the anniversary of my nativity, I am once again eternally thankful for my loving parents, for this life God has given me, for my future husband Michael, and for this precise era of my life. For right now, I can't imagine a better age to be. :)
