Tuesday, June 26, 2012

My Big Ol' Feet

In case you were wondering, my feet are already huge.  They're size 9.

They don't look cute in cute shoes because size 9 shoes are never cute.  The cuteness factor goes away once you pass size 7.5.  Sometimes there's a remnant of it in a size 8, but it just depends on the shoe and is not guaranteed.

But I'm OK with this.  These are the feet God gave me, and they keep me stable and well-grounded.  I accept gratefully my size 9 feet and try to make them look as pleasant in footwear as I can.

But I'm pregnant, remember.

And rumor has it that when a girl gets pregnant, her feet increase by one whole size due to the extra weight and pregnancy hormones which relax the space between all bones in preparation for labor.  And they stay that way.  Forever.

So my friends who are mommies have been telling me that I'm pretty much gonna have to upgrade to size 10 very soon.  Drag.

The sales associates at Lady Foot Locker explained to me the importance of wearing arch support now and in the months following pregnancy so that my feet "harden" again into their proper shape and do not flatten.  While the prospects of me retaining size 9 feet seemed grim, they admitted, wearing arch support was my best chance at maybe aiming for a 9.5.  Geez.

But here we are in Summertime.  So it's next to impossible to feel comfortable wearing anything but flip-flops in this heat.  As the days pass and I continue to flip-flop around and about, I wonder if I'm creeping up to 10 or maybe 11.  Gasp!

So I decide to be courageous.  I decide to save my feet.  And off I flip-flop to the mall, providentially choosing an entrance that just happened to be next to a brand-new foot care shoe store that must have gone in overnight.  God be praised!

I examine their ugly $90 flip flops with arch support.  I text Michael the bad news.  And then the sales associate invites me to be evaluated by his high-tech machine which will monitor the pressure I put on my feet.  Within seconds, my results are broadcast on the giant jumbo-tron for all to see.

"But look at this!" he says, joyfully.  "You have GREAT arches!  You're not flat-footed like you thought!  Your weight is mostly on your heels, and somewhat in the front -- which is as it should be.  The orange dot you see by the white line is your center of gravity.  So you're just ever-so-slightly misaligned, favoring the left.  Your feet look great and will probably stay a size 9!"

I wanted to hug him.  I wanted him to give him a sale.  But instead, I just thanked him and walked out of the store in silent, gleeful jubilation.  I even skipped a few times, when I thought nobody was looking.  Maybe my size 9 feet are here to stay!

At the golf shop with Michael a few hours later, a man's shoe that was for sale put everything in perspective for me.  :)