Tuesday, September 25, 2012

22 Days Old

They say it takes 22 days to form a habit. 

Last night around Midnight, I discovered that it also takes 22 days for the exhaustion to wear off and for a new mommy's unconditional love for her child to overflow in the form of very happy tears.

Liam was fussing last night, frustrated and red-faced with tears coming out of his eyes, the last of which only happens if he's been crying for a while.  I couldn't be sure why he was more frustrated than usual for his normal needs of breastfeeding, diaper-changing, or just to be held and loved.

But even though I wasn't sure why his frustration level was high, I kept assuring him that I understood...that I would always understand him...that, as his Mother, I would always be ready and willing to sympathize with any emotion he experienced...and that I'd always be willing to do anything it took to make him content and at peace with himself in this world.  Mothers, by their very nature, bring comfort.

I realized, last night, that nobody in this entire world could love him the way that I will, as his Mother.   My love for him is so strong and unconditional that I began to consider the fact I very well may love him more than anyone else ever will. 

I will love him unconditionally and always, no matter what.  It's how God designed me and it's the grace that He's given me, being in the vocation of Mother. 

If Liam is called to the vocation of marriage, could his wife really love him more than I?  Her love for him would be conditional, it would seem, based on the fact that its foundation is the vocation of marriage.  The condition is, you see, the vocation of marriage itself, which is based upon a vow.  And a vow is a solemn promise made before God, family, and friends.  It's binding.  It's forever.  And it's beautiful.

But Motherhood is a vocation that doesn't need a vow.  The commitment is baked into us, for our children are an extension of our very being -- and yet are decidedly a unique being in and of themselves.  We want the best for our children, even more so than what we want for ourselves.

Liam, I am so privileged to be your Mother.  With God as my strength, I hope to be to you the very best Mother ever!