Friday, October 03, 2008

My Shining Star

Tonight I said good-bye to Jon Adams, my exboyfriend-turned-wonderful-friend. I actually deleted him from my MySpace and Facebook friend lists, too.

I guess I finally admitted to myself that even though I was the one who ended our relationship this time a year ago, I was still in love with him. Not completely, but at least quite partially, anyhow...and at least enough to do drastic things (like saying good-bye, at least for now) that only unrequited love can author.

My little heart soured when he broke up with his summertime girlfriend a few weeks ago, but it sunk down to new depths when he took on another new girlfriend this week. Somehow our dating for a year and a half just didn't seem so special any longer. My little heart ached, and I just couldn't let it be tortured again. And I just didn't want my news feed showing me thumbnails of new girlfriend pictures he's uploaded. So I deleted him.

Jon came into my life at such a perfect time (gosh, I even remember the date as being June 3, 2006), and I don't think there's ever been a person with whom I have had so much in common. Really. I felt like we were two peas in a pod. I'd gleefully squeal when I'd find out he was coming over.

Our weekends were always packed with doing the things that I love and which he happened to love, too (petting poultry, cuddling cats, dancing to techno at Spy Club, dancing to hip-hop at DragonFly, going to Christian concerts in the summertime, watching hardcore shows at the Championship, going to church together, socializing at Saturate, twirling glow sticks at Club Worship...and the list goes on). His unconventional appearance included his tricked-out car, and he supplied all my music in the last 2-3 years, giving me hundreds and hundreds of songs.

There were so many reasons to love him. He never compromised our trust. He never hurt me. He always respected me. He always remembered to call. He always included me. He never made me feel uncomfortable. He was trusting, and loving, and caring, and thoughtful. He was a faithful Christian man. He was goofy and colorful when he was happy, and he was sweet and somber when he was sad. I don't think I've ever seen such a brightly shining star in what can sometimes be a very dimly lit world.

It is no wonder that I shall miss his precious face from the people in my day-to-day life. And while I hope we will talk again in the coming months, I know that this step away is healthy and needed at this time.

Godspeed, Jonathan. And God bless you!