It's not that Facebook is bad. It isn't.
Rather, this social network is neutral. Like all things, it can be used to do good or used to do bad.
Back in 2005, when I had just been dumped by my boyfriend and craved more wholesome Catholic friends, Facebook was the medium through which I first maintained those friendships.
I'd meet someone at the Catholic Underground in Philadelphia and then be pleased to find a friend request waiting for me when I got home. A few picture comments later...and we had become old chums, worthy of a hug when we'd see each other next. :)
Yes, Facebook was a great way for moving on...and moving up.
We gathered for dinner at various restaurants, in church classrooms for Bible study, or went to parks for outdoor concerts. We'd have a priest as a guest speaker or coordinate a holy hour with Eucharistic Adoration.
And when my friends John and Scott established the Catholic Young Adults of Chester County (CYACC), I'd organize carpools to West Chester to bring together all my friends and have everybody meet more!
In just 6 years of being on Facebook, I had acquired 852 friends. Most of them were new friends that I had met in Catholic circles, but many were old friends from my childhood and those blessed days spent at St. Catherine Laboure School in Illinois. I had also reconnected with my friends from high school and college, and it was great seeing the photographs of their lives.
You wouldn't think that a girl with so many friends in so many places (and with such a full appointment calendar) could simultaneously experience a dark period of lonesomeness and social withdrawal, but indeed I did, most acutely in 2009.
My friends on Facebook were a significant part of my saving grace during those long, sad months of confusion. To flip open my laptop was to gain access to at least 30 friends who were available for immediate chat. And, if I didn't want that, then at least I could read the uplifting comments people had posted below my status update, reminding me that I was not at all alone and that we really should hang out this weekend.
That's how I got through the sad days.
Well, that and a TON of prayer.
That a TON of relying on God.
That a TON of relying on my family and friends.
In the Summer of 2010, I used Facebook to find the members of my Catholic rock band. We used Facebook to communicate with each other, catch fans, and post videos. The fun this provided made the Summer of 2010 the best one I had experienced in my life thus far!
And this weekend, Facebook helped me promote the Catholic Speed Dating Party, where we raised $500 for relief efforts in Haiti.
But, slowly, Facebook was becoming too much for me to handle.
So, a few months ago, I cut back on the amount of pictures I uploaded, stopped accepting social invitations, and whittled my 852-person friend list down to 312. I announced that I would be leaving Facebook soon, gathered up as many emails and phone numbers as I could, and appointed my friend Michelle as the new leader and admin of the Lancaster Young Adult Catholics group.
This weekend I used Facebook's new option to instantly download all of my photo albums. And then I finally pressed it: Deactivate.
There is a new quiet that pervades in my life now, and it is beautiful. It is smooth, and it is simple. It makes me appreciate solitude when I have it, and I embrace ordinary things more. Already I notice that it has changed how I interact with family, friends, and colleagues -- both in person, on the telephone, and even through email. Somehow the result is: There is no need to rush.
Without Facebook I have gained:
1. More authentic means of communication with friends.
2. More free time in my social calendar.
3. More free time in my daily doings.
4. More time for reflection (in the form of prayer and in the form of writing).
Facebook, thank you for the gift that you were to me. Thank you for continuing to unite my beloved friends with one another. And thank you for giving me the freedom to be set free!
