Monday, February 04, 2013

She Just Won't Stop.

There's this business woman that won't stop calling me.  It's sooooo annoying.

She called for the first time two days after I had given birth.  When she called, I was breastfeeding Liam, giving him a bath, and changing his diaper.  All at the same time.  Or at least it felt like it.

She asked if I wanted our water quality tested.  And she began to list the many wonderful reports that such a test would generate.  It would only take 30-60 minutes of my time, and a nice Water Quality Testing Person would explain everything to me in detail.  And the first test would be free!

I cut her off.

No, thank you, I interjected.  I could barely hear what she was saying anyhow because Liam's cry had turned to a high-pitched screech.  It was like there was a siren gong off in our living room, and I wasn't about to think of anything else other than trying to turn down the volume.

She understood that I was busy as a new mom, then pinned me down for a convenient call-back time next week.  Liam kept screaming.

I felt caught.  Pinned.  Stuck.

Fine.  I agreed to her suggestion of next Tuesday at 5 PM, just because it was the quickest way to get her off the phone.  But I had no idea what that commitment would REALLY entail.  In the months that followed, I would become flabbergasted by her unprecedented, persnickety persistence.

Dear reader, I am not exaggerating.  The woman has been calling me twice a week every week for the past 5 months.  I've memorized her phone number.  And I know it's been 5 months because that's how old our baby is.  I know it's been twice a week because my little cell phone has kept a record of my incoming calls.  It's unbelieveable to me.  And she always calls at the most inconvenient times, like when Liam is napping and the sound inevitably wakes him up.  I growl but never answer.

She's left only ONE voice mail.  This happened about two months into it.  She introduced herself again, talked about how awesome water quality reports can be and how I was missing out, then begged me to please call her back.  Seriously?

Of course, I didn't.  I have other stuff on my minds these days, like...I dunno...a baby...who kind of keeps me busy and stuff.

My mother always told me that actions speak louder than words, so I thought I conveyed all that I needed to by not calling her back and never answering when she does.  I wasn't interested in her water quality report, and I'm still not.  So what gives?

My mother also always told me that it takes doing something 22 times before a habit is formed.  Well, this woman has called me exactly 42 times, so she's well beyond it being a habit.  It's a downright addiction.  And it's creepy.  She thinks of me every single week, at least twice.  But she won't leave any more voice mails.

I've thought about answering, just to give the woman a piece of my mind.  I'd catch her off guard by skipping past the "Hello?" and exploding on her.  I'd tell her that her relentlessness annoys me almost to the point of harassment.  Am I seriously her only prospective customer?  Does she have nothing else to do at work than to remember that I haven't answered my phone yet and that she ought to try again?

My curiosity has made me wonder how very long this could go on.  Should I answer when it's been exactly one year and THEN unfurl my anger?

Dear reader, what would you do if you were me?